The moment I’ve been dreading and nervous about for years has finally come.
When we first realized how serious Theo’s allergies were—especially after his anaphylactic reaction—I became so fearful. When our trusted daycare closed, I interviewed many nannies trying to find someone I could trust. In the end, I did something I never thought was in my plans: I took a break from work to stay home with the kids. I just couldn’t get past the memory of his reaction, and I knew I needed to be the one to keep him safe.
Over time, as we learned more and Theo got older, I slowly eased back into working. We tried a new daycare, and of course I went over every detail about his allergies and the seriousness of it all. But lo and behold, on the very first day, she gave him peas by accident—even though I had packed and provided his meals and snacks. Thank God he spit them out instead of swallowing, but this was exactly why I had stayed home in the first place. Luckily, our trusted daycare reopened, and we were able to transition back there. That gave me much more confidence to return to work.
Starting school felt a lot like finding a daycare or nanny all over again. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know who his teacher would be, or if they would keep him safe. I didn’t know how supportive the school would be. Honestly, the thought of sending him made me sick to my stomach.
Going into kindergarten, I knew I would be requesting a 504 plan for him. Many people don’t realize this is an option for a child with food allergies, but it absolutely is—and it’s such a valuable tool to ensure teachers, nurses, and staff are all on the same page. I feel very fortunate because his teacher and the school district were extremely supportive, and together we came up with some great precautions to keep him safe and included—whether it’s riding the bus, snack times, lunch, or recess.
Even with all the preparation and conversations, it was still extremely difficult for me to let him go on that first day. The normal feelings of seeing your child grow up and start school were mixed with intense fear—that he could have a reaction around brand new people who didn’t know him, didn’t know his allergies, and might not know how to respond. To some, those fears might sound irrational. But when a single crumb of his allergens could send him into anaphylactic shock, that fear is very real—especially when he’s surrounded by hundreds of kids.
Once we made it through day one without a hitch, I finally felt like I could breathe after holding my breath for what seemed like weeks. Theo was so ready to start school, and he continues to amaze me with how smart and observant he is when it comes to his allergies.
He impresses me daily with his bravery in trying new things. I’m always working to strike that balance—teaching him not to be fearful of food, while always being cautious, speaking up for himself, and staying safe.
